Have you had an accident that wasn't your fault?
Did you zip up your jeans and something got caught?
Here's the chance of a lump sum, easy money
You may be entitled to 36p
" Oh wow...er yeah, I slipped on a slug "
" Well I swallowed a plug
It was still in the socket
I went up like a rocket "
" That's nothing, I banged my head on a pillow "
" Yeah, I was attacked by next door's armadillo "
Oh how my heart bleeds!
At your mishap-fuelled greed

Have you suffered injury in the last eighty years?
Maybe you cut of your head with some shears
You could be in line for compensation
The chance of a payout is such a temptation
" Hello? Is that claim line?...Yes it's Arnold from Dover
My trousers fell down and I've just fallen over "
" Yes hi, my name's Beryl, I'm in Bramblewood Close
A Ryanair jet has just flown up my nose "
These are just two of the cases we've won
Welcome to the age of " Let's screw everyone! "