I stared at her, a picture of despair

Caught in the melancholic clutches of premenstrual tension

A changeling who promised to be my retribution

Spewing out the utterances of a hormonally tainted mind

I stared at her and with a whoosh took flight……..I escaped

How was I to rekindle a love so precious, exorcise her demons of damnation, and reboot her corrupted hard-drive?

How was I to salvage a ship marooned in an ocean so unkind?

Answer………..I escaped

Running as fast as the wind would carry me

Skipping past ‘go’ and forfeiting my £200

Buzzing like a bee in search of pollen

My quest certain; my desire sublime

I needed that chalice, infused with fragrant love juices

………………..I escaped

That potion which promised passions untold

Its mellifluous odour, a pheromone that caressed my virginal brain

That woke up the animal in me and provided it with purpose

Yes, I yearned for that which healed from within

That clung to her female form, a recipe for temptation

I yearned to come forth like we did in the throes of passion

I yearned to…………escape

Alas I settled at my destination

The place where I was to pick up my vestibule of love

My heart was thumping in unbridled anticipation and in a cacophony of exasperation I yelled out………….escape please!!!!

“Coming up sir!” the shop assistant replied

“You even get a £5 voucher to spend on whatever you desire. A good choice I must say to pick Escape. It’s timeless, emotive, sentimental and potent.”

Without a word I grabbed the object of my desire

Hurried towards the door, a bag of nerves and worse a flatulent messiah

I’ll put an end to her pain, recharge her batteries, and suppress her hormonal tantrums

Just like in the old days when we first met, soaked in much perspiration

…………I’d escaped

“What is this ‘Escape for men’ are you mad, are you lame?”

“Are you trying to imply that I have grown a thick mane?”

“The shaving kit on valentine, the exfoliator on our anniversary”

“Is there any need for you to instil in me this hairy malady?”

…………….I escaped

A mistake easily made, no not her the perfume

A fool yes I am but it was the thought that still counted

I’ll redeem myself, oh yes, this time with something less confusing

Escape no I won’t, maybe Kenzo, maybe Armani