The day was set excitement grew,

a wedding day was here.

The cars arriving, men in suits

and some the worse for beer.

Aunt Beryl in her silly hat

and limping with her gout.

Dear cousin Cheryl with her ‘boobs’

guests also spilling out.

Uncle Bert and Auntie May

the list went on and on.

I thought that most of them were dead,

had upped their toes and gone!

The bride and groom looked scared, withdrawn,

with people’s constant touch.

The oohs and ahhs, and aren’t they cute

just made them lick their crutch.

Yap! only in the USA

they’d dress up in their togs.

Whose daft idea and money gain

to wed the bloody dogs!