The world is changing fast
into something I don't like.
I'm frowned on when I drive
but get arse ache on my bike.

They say sleep gives you cancer
so I stay up all the night.
How do you win one of those quizzes
when no answer turns out right?

Don't overbrush your teeth
as it's now bad for your gums.
Don't feed your kids on burgers
as it makes you crappy mums.

Re-use and re-cycle
keep your rubbish for two weeks.
You want to see the state of my garden
and smell how much it reeks.

I've given up my hobby
'cause I'm told it makes you blind.
I now feel so frustrated
that my mate appeals from behind.

I'm scared to go outside my door
to sleep, eat and drive.
Is that what all those morons mean by
" It's great to be alive?"

Maybe when I'm eighty
I'll look back on this and laugh.
But that's of course if I haven't been disolved
by the chemicals in my bath.