Source:
Adults
Author:
jonny graham
Title:
Happy Skeletons .
Fatty Arbuckle has screwed Virginia Rappe , with a bottle neck , and chunks of ice . He's blind drunk as usual , and now she is dying of peritonitis . On the bed , right before his eyes . In the St Francis Hotel in 'Frisco . But Fatty doesn't realize . The news breaks overnight , hits Hollywood real hard . Mack Sennett makes no comment . Labor day , September , 1921 , scandal in the movie mogul's own back yard . Happy Sams makes his move , through Arbuckles lawyers , once Fatty is conveniently behind bars . Happy will build his legend . Arbuckle will die broke . You dumb fat son of a bitch with no prick . I made 87 pictures , and one oscar . I did the same as you . But I never got caught . Fatty , I hope you fuckin' choke . The worst thing in Hollywood is to be in obscurity when you die . In 1927 , Happy secretly kills two girls, buries them in his rambling mansion garden with several other complete unknowns . In 1991 the remains are found , after Eve visits the mansion ruins and claims the old house as her own . Eve is just thirty , and relatively unknown . Blonde and tanned and dusty silver-pink . Heavy gold and whispering white . Married to an older , richer man . Both alcoholics . Tangled vines . But Eve dreams about Happy's house , every single night of her ruined life . The house was obscene and obsolete . Dripping with abandonment , and whispering hidden charm . Eve owned it for two hours , without papers , took the lonely treasures with her . Then came the man of arms . Bought by a munitions dealer , for his daughter . Based in the south of France . The Beverly Hills design firm began intensive renovations , according to faxed plans . Five skeletons unearthed in the garden , three more under dusty cellar shelves , The macabre secrets of long gone Happy Sams now finally reveal themselves .
Through the decades , this was the place to be . Cocktail parties , shootings , rustling taffeta . Dressing up three times each day . Cadillacs , vast and gleaming , and hot . Jacaranda blossom and peacocks . The film industry at work and play .
There are still echoes here . Of women who married men for their money . And walked through marbled halls of opulence in stiletto-clicking icy-execution . Rhythmic with the pulsing crystal fountains . Exercising quiet control . Happy Sams is no Chaplin as such . But he works hard at Keystone studios , gets paid really well , has a good filmstar life , and nothing really bothers him too much . In 1921 he marries a starlet , Constance MacMurray . Six months later she dies in a hospital from internal haemorrhaging . Happy appears distraught . But some people are beginning to worry . Happy lives in his mansion house . His young dead wife soon forgotten . Vaulted ceilings and frescoed walls . Florentine mantels and marble columns . Onyx and gold bathrooms , blue tiled swimming pool , private small theatre . The prizes of decadence . The trappings of a wayward fool .
Happy's second wife is Iris , a Zeigfeld showgirl . He met her at the Tijuana races . She is no real beauty . Just a sexual gymnast par excellence who keeps Happy amused as he shows her what real pain is . Two years later , on Valentines day , she is found drowned , dressed in an evening gown , floating in Santa Monica bay . Happy acts utterly despondent . At the funeral , mauve roses , and nothing much to say . Betty and Cara , adorable 17 year-old twins , in 1927 pose a problem for Happy , with their young looks , red hair and white skin . They , and their mother , know of Happy's passion , for rope ties and painful oral arts . Quarter million dollars of bribery , or else , they will expose him . Three months later the mother is dead . Found gagged and stabbed in a boarding house in Culver city . Happy is in the desert , filming with Laurel and Hardy , pretends to know nothing of it . The twins are frantic and decide to confront Happy at his house with a hidden tape recorder . But Happy locks the doors and shoots them both full in the face , committing bloody double murder . Buries them in his garden , plants white rose bushes above them , goes to their house , removes all traces of their existence . Eve dreams about being ' in that bracket ' . Sat on the terrace in a bamboo chair , drinking only to forget , as the scirroco of evening blows through her hair . In the right bracket she wouldn't count for her sins . In the right house , at the right time . To do as she pleased . To fall and not have to climb . What terrifies Happy Sams is sound . His own voice , shrill and high . And the new talking movies that threaten his silent career at Warner Brothers in 1929 . So he changes his style , chatters and shrieks , wears pinstripes and hat . Makes movies with Garbo and Harlow and somehow remains at the top . Enter Happy's third wife , highly-bred Mary Ellen . Through the thirties to the fifties , an ideal movieland couple , a match that appeared made in heaven . But Happy had secrets that he kept well hidden . Until Mary Ellen unearthed skulls in the garden and Happy resorted again to unlawful killing . The coroner said his wife died from a stroke , but the old party circuit were sick of the joke . Happy just turned on the sprinklers and smoked another expensive cigar . Some men are born lucky . And some never are . 1975 and Happy recieves an Honorary Oscar . He does the old comedy routine for the crowd . Watching him is his young wife , Yvonne , 29 . Prostate cancer had rendered him impotent . Yvonne was young and beautiful , quite divine . Happy was beyond 70 , running out of time . By 1986 he's in a wheelchair and suffering from severe emphysema . Yvonne suffocates him one sunny afternoon , kisses him farewell , calls him her old dreamer . The obituaries called him a star . Yvonne got one hundred million dollars . The tables got turned on the old killer schemer . Eve runs her hands over the old photographs . She was one of Happy's women in another life . A hooker with a gag in her mouth , or a fresh faced wife , sitting next to Clark Gable at a party , wearing a ruby brooch and a silk turban , being watched by Happy , and paying the price for certain . You can own whatever you want . It's yours for the taking . For fifty years or two hours . You can take someone elses life and bury them amongst the flowers . And no one will care . There will always be someone who knows more about you than you thought possible . You will never meet them . But they will know . Everything .
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Adults
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