Want a chance in a lifetime
for financial gain?
Become top of the heap,
win fortune and fame?
Then send us a tenner,
just a tenner it said,
then wove such a tale
that it near turned my head.

It spoke of great riches;
no effort at all;
exhorted, cajoled,
told me I'd have a ball.
That my yacht would be
anchored in Marbella bay,
that I sip on champagne
as I sailed on my way.

So send us your tenner;
just a tenner it said,
and we'll send you the secret
of getting ahead.
'Tis reward without pain
for a few hours a week.
'Tis the Grail that is holy
that we all strive and seek.

I looked at my tenner
and felt a right burk,
shoved it back in my wallet,
then went off to work.
'Cause deep down I knew
who the winner would be,
And I'd bet you a tenner
It would never be me!