I was looking through my old record colection
just having a bit of a lark.
My son looked on as if they were
quaint relics from Noah's ark.

Duran Duran, all classic stuff
with three members all called Taylor.
Packed away for so the long the dust flew up
and had me reaching for my inhaler.

Culture Club with colourful clothes
not really much to say.
Excuse me can you say that again
are you saying Boy George is gay?

It's hard rock time, Def Leppard is here
with their crunching metal guitar riffs.
But on closer inspection on their album sleeve
they were all dyed hair and big quiffs.

Genisis now with Phil stuck on drums
Peter Gabriel making noises and did he shout?
He wore strange clothes and plastered on make up
what the hell was that all about?

Musical Youth are somewhere in here
at the back 'cause them I had to hide.
But many afternoons I'd dance around my room
"Pass the dutchie on the left hand side."

This one's Wham! and old Goerge Michael
it's an album of their greatest hits.
Who'd have thought he'd hang around in the bogs
even minus a chronic dose of the shits.

Frankie Goes To Hollywood were a right top band
not music for the old or the meek.
Now it's Frankie goes to town on the number ten bus
and has to sign on every other week.

Oh for the days of a good pop tune
when they really could knock out a top song.
I counted three hundred discs in my old collection
and not one bloody thing to play them on.