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Stories & Scripts

Source: Adults

Author: Jonathan Howard

Title: 'THIS'

So, there it was. Presented to me on a small sheet of torn, dirty and screwed up paper, no bigger than a cigarette packet. A challenge? A request? Or simply an idea for a nonsensical journey to the inner depths of the human mind and psyche? I don't yet really know but I’m quite interested in what thoughts I might experience along this (hopefully) relatively short journey. There it begins. With one small word, the brain starts to conjure up all sorts of different possibilities and scenarios, all of which feel, almost paradoxically, as if to reveal themselves hastily even though the subject matter of 'this' is not quite yet fully understood or even explainable to someone willing or un-willing to understand. But while thinking of the limitless fantasies of the modest mind, one can quite understand how certain individuals use these fantasies to present their ideas to a much wider audience of people that do and do not want to listen. Of course all of this is completely irrelevant when you imagine that the fantasies of some people’s imaginations can be viewed in more than one light. In one hand they can view them as 'fact', or in the other, as complete fiction. But aside from that there are other issues to contend with. Global warming, the ever increasing price of fuel, the war on terror, big brother and all the other government conspiracies, obesity and the recession gripping the UK at the moment. All of these immensely important and, dare I say, intriguing subjects constantly take up all possible air time on the news, and most newspaper space in the broadsheets and even, to a certain extent, in the tabloids. But let us not forget the other issues which should also be at the forefront of our minds. World poverty, terrorism, politicians who although claim to be honest and true, are constantly being caught with their trousers round their ankles-this is not meant in a literal way you understand, just as a metaphor for all the situations that people of that position shouldn't really be getting caught up in-, how on earth the kids of Generation X (or De-Generation X as some people like to refer to it as) are going to survive all the trials and tribulations of modern life, and survive when they become old and weak. You may wonder if the fear of being in debt when your old and weary is a prominent thought to be having when you’re in your 20's when there are much more involving worries you may have. Fear of being alone, fear of the darkness filling your imagination with devils, fear of gods judgement, fear of what other people might say, of the law punishing any mistake, fear of trying and failing, fear of succeeding and having to live with the envy of other people around you, fear of loving and being rejected, of asking for a rise in salary, of accepting an invitation, of going somewhere new, of not being able to speak a foreign language, of not making the right impression, of dying, of not being noticed for one's merits, of being pointed out because of one’s defects, of not being noticed for either one's merits or defects. Fear. Trepidation. Terror. As a very famous philosopher, who shall for the time being remain nameless-not to try to not deviate from 'this' as such, but primarily because I cant remember which one it was-once said, 'there is no such thing as good, virtue is simply one of the many faces of terror'. But enough about philosophy, because at the end of the day its just another way of trying to explain to us all the complexities of life without using the age old proverb (and I use that term in the loosest possibly way), ' life sucks and then you die', or my own personal favourite 'life's a bitch, and then you marry one'. The Sandman, circa 1996/7. And by some strange coincidence we end up back with the Generation X. As much as we may try not to dwell on this fact, it almost appears as if we have completed our very own, very obscure, version of 6 degrees of separation. But alas, for 'this' must come to an end. As I write this I think about that small piece of paper I was given. As it read 'just write a load of irrelevant words down' I had two paths I could have chosen to reach my desired goal. I could have created a whimsical yet judicious account of the world through my eyes, or I could have just aimlessly babbled on about nothing in particular. I may be a sceptic, I may even be a philistine but at the end of the day I consider myself to be one of the lucky few who still feels he can express his views freely and without fear of recourse or needing to ask for advice or going back on myself, which are admittedly one in the same. I'm not quite sure yet which one of the two paths I chose, but one thing I did learn is that I may be one of the most verbose people I know.



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